It's about that time of the year, when you see the end is close and you almost see all the packing you'll soon have to do; the goodbye, and another beginning. Well, at least that has been my typical end of the year since two years now, and even longer when you look at my personnal history.
With that "traditional" ending-waiting-beginning kind of process, there's always a sort of Bilan coming along. Last year's one has the shape of a list of what changed and what didn't.
Well, this year, it might sound weird to most people but more and more often I have been feeling like speaking English rather than French to express my feelings. For more practical or technical things I obviously still have to learn a lot of vocabulary and idioms, but in terms of spontaneity, I noticed that I tend to naturally turn to English. Strange, isn't it?
On a psychological point of view, one could argue that unlike my mother tongue, I had to make English mine, and therefore, I associated it with a more intimate part of me. Or maybe this is just too much thinking. Neverthless, there are many times when I just wish I could speak English to everyone, for it is a language that is more close to some of my emotions than French is sometimes.
Watching Spring-Preston by night through my opened window, smelling that very typical odour of fresh juicy grass and fresh foggy air, I had that nostalgy of last year's parties with a certain bunny. I am not sad that it's gone, I just realized it is a part of me now, as well as this language.
Sorry for those who don't understand everything, I don't really feel like that post should be translated, as a revenge I would take on times where I speak French when I would like to use English...
